people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
