I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
