I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize