this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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