And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
