some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
