i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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