Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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