its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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