You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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