would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Can you bring me the toilet please
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
