spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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