She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
