Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
