I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
