I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
