oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
