does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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