You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize