i think i have herpe
just one?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I FOUND THE LEGS
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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