Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the day after is always just damage control
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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