I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
