I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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