Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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