Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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