I cockslap morals
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize