do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
