if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
