Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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