How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
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