I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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