Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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