last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
