Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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