I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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