I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
