so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
