it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
