I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
