i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
