i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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