I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
