I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm like, not good at living.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
