Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
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