apparently the secret to your success is patron
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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