rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
