I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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