It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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