I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
