How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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