apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
