This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize