GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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