if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
