She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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