You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
