Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
