Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
