Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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