This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize