My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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