i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize