I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
